Which Counsellor do I choose?

If you decide to reach out for Counselling, there are some things that you might want to consider. First on that list being, Find a Counsellor that you feel Comfortable with.

I am very open-minded to, and accepting of, the fact that I am not the right Counsellor for every client out there. Well that might sound like a big statement to make, right?! Each Counsellor has their own personality, way of connecting with their clients and style of counselling. I say this because it is something to be mindful of.

The way in which a counsellor and client connect is essential to how successful a client's counselling journey will be. It is a simple fact of life that some people “get on / gel / align” and others don’t. It’s not to say that there is anything wrong with you, or that particular counsellor, just that your personalities and communication styles may not be compatible and it’s best to acknowledge that right at the start.

If you do try to pursue therapy with a Counsellor that you don’t feel at ease with, it will inevitably mean that you don’t feel comfortable to share and explore your vulnerabilities with them. When your sessions do come to an end, best case scenario, you may feel that some work has been done and you may feel more self-aware, which is great, but overall, you likely won’t feel that your issues are really resolved and therefore won’t feel the full benefit of the experience. There is a real risk that you will write off the idea of Counselling altogether, feeling like it was of no help when in actual fact, it’s likely that it was your experience of a particular person / their style and not of Counselling itself, that was the cause.

So before we end up down that rabbit hole, let’s try heading this off at the outset.

Key point: Don’t just go with the first Counsellor you find.

You may already be on board with this but if you hadn’t thought about it, please bear with me…

I do appreciate that in some cases, it may have been hard enough to reach out in the first place so the task of finding any counsellor may feel like enough for you. However, you might consider some things before you make contact and find yourself sat across from someone with the intention of committing to sessions with them. It really could make all the difference to your counselling experience, so here are some suggestions that I humbly offer:

• Try to do at least a little research (if you’re reading this article, it means that you might be open to this idea so that’s a good start!). If you can, make a short list of a few Counsellors who you feel might suit you. Depending on your area, you might find that there are plenty of Counsellors out there so take advantage of that! Many Counsellors these days also work online so that might be a consideration for you.

• Check if they have a website or a profile so you can get a feel for who they are and what they offer beforehand.

• You could find out whether or not they will speak to you before you commit to attending sessions with them, or if they offer your first session at a discounted rate so that you can meet before you feel too invested.

• Consider where they are located – you may have thought about this for convenience sake but there is another point here… from a mental and emotional standpoint, sometimes it can feel challenging to pick yourself up and get to your sessions, so you might want to make it as easy as possible for yourself.

• In my own personal, humble opinion, I would also suggest that you check whether your chosen Counsellor is registered with a professional membership body (such as BACP, NCPS, BPC, UKCP - please note that this is not the full list, and please do accept my apologies for all of the acronyms/initials - it would take me all day to type out the full names!). This way, you know that they are held to ethical standards in their practice.

While this may not be an exhaustive list, I hope that these points offer a starting place and are of some help in offering a little direction if you feel you need it.

Ultimately, I would encourage you to follow your instincts - you know what feels right for you and if it doesn’t, then it’s likely that it isn’t. Trust Yourself.